I always hear that gossip is dangerous, but everybody does it. What is so destructive about it?

The biblical concept of gossip is sharing other people’s secrets or speaking negatively of them behind their backs. Gossip is a sin. St. Paul writes in Romans 1:29-32, “They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips . . . Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death . . .” Gossip is listed as deserving of death. That is the most destructive aspect of gossip!

Gossip betrays motives

Why do we gossip? Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” We gossip because we think we can raise ourselves up by putting others down. Gossip is selfish, just as every sin is. By pointing out the faults and failings of others, we are trying to feel better about ourselves. It doesn’t work. Often, it may feel good at the moment, but later we feel the guilt of the sin.

Have you ever noticed that when you engage in gossip, you find yourself and your conversations filled with bitterness and negativity? That is no coincidence. The Bible states, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12).

Gossip hurts you and others

A person’s reputation is one of God’s most important and fragile gifts. God knows how easy it is for people to lose a good reputation. He protects the gift of reputation in the Eighth Commandment: “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” Martin Luther explains in the Small Catechism, “We should fear and love God that we do not tell lies about our neighbor, betray him, or give him a bad name.” Think how easily a person’s good reputation can be ruined and how difficult it is to regain that once it is lost.

Gossip destroys reputations—theirs and yours. All it takes is for someone to gossip behind your back and your reputation can be lost, whether the information is accurate or not. Often, even if there is truth in it, the information is presented to suit the desires of the gossiper. Gossips destroy their reputation by communicating to others that they are not trustworthy. Once trust is lost, it’s challenging to get back. People stop coming to gossips for help. “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).

Godly speech blesses you and others

Luther concludes his explanation of the Eighth Commandment with these words, “Defend [your neighbor], speak well of him, and take his words and actions in the kindest possible way.” When you do this, you will find yourself in conversations filled with kindness and positivity.

Paul instructs, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29, emphasis added). I have a challenge for you. Wake up tomorrow and commit to saying only things that will build others up. That means you will not talk about yourself but, rather, everything you say will fulfill the need of the person to whom you’re talking. If you can do that perfectly (not that any of us can!), how good of a day will that be? It will be an awesome day! And you will find that you are, in turn, built up by others without having to build yourself up by talking about yourself. “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13).

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Author: David Scharf
Volume 111, Number 12
Issue: December 2024