A church member’s wife has cancer. He says, “I’ve prayed and prayed, but God isn’t listening. If he was, why isn’t she getting better?” He is afraid he will lose her. Do you have any advice?

Likely, we all have had the thought on occasion, Is God really listening? Prayer is heart-to-heart communication between the believer and God. God invites us in Psalm 50:15, “Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” God is listening and answering.

Prayer is a privilege, unique for the Christian. Proverbs 15:29 says, “The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.” Prayer is all about a relationship. The Bible tells us that we are not righteous on our own. Righteousness comes from God through the blood of Jesus. God brings us into a relationship with him and gives us the privilege of calling out to him in prayer. “The Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’ ” (Romans 8:15). We come before the almighty God as dear children come before their dear father, confident that their father will listen.

And our prayers make a difference! “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). These are promises of God.

Then, why does it sometimes appear like he is not listening?

When it seems like God isn’t listening

Open your Bible and read the account of the Canaanite woman who begged Jesus to heal her demon-possessed daughter (Matthew 15:21-28). I’m sure she was tempted to think, He’s not listening. However, Jesus was strengthening her and giving her an opportunity to exercise her faith in him. She must have reasoned, “Lord, you are good, no matter how you may seem now. You care about me in a way no one else does. I will pray as long as I have to. I am not going to go away. I have no one else!” Pain drives us into the arms of our Savior to be reminded of his promises in his Word and to cry out to him in prayer.

Look at the apostle Paul’s “thorn in the flesh.” Three times, Paul pleaded with God to take it away, but God did not. Perhaps Paul was tempted to wonder, Is he even listening? Again, God had heard and answered Paul’s prayer, but not in the way that Paul had hoped. God wanted to teach Paul to find strength in his grace. God’s answer was, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So convincing was this lesson that Paul went on to write that he delighted in hardships and difficulties: “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

With one of the most astounding prayers in Scripture, Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). Jesus came into the world to go to the cross! And yet, in his sorrow, he asked the Father if that suffering could be withheld from the plan of salvation. But he adds a very important part to his prayer: “Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

We don’t need to worry

Jesus says several times in Matthew chapter 6, “Do not worry.” Why? Because if God takes care of flowers in a field, how much more will he take care of you? You are worth so much more! Jesus paid for you with his priceless blood. You are worth more than all the flowers in the world.

Jesus goes on to say, “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11). That means that if I ask God for a sports car because I “need” it, he won’t necessarily give me one. That is because he loves me. He knows I may wrap it around a tree and leave behind my wife and six kids. So, he says yes to my request for transportation by blessing me with a 2015 Toyota Yaris that shakes when I try to go over 70 miles per hour.

So don’t worry. He knows what you need. He knows what is best.

The importance of perspective

It takes a lot of spiritual maturity to be able to call whatever comes from God’s hand good. It is important to look at God’s perspective. Someone has said that God will answer your prayer in the way that you would have asked had you possessed all the information he does.

As Christians, we take comfort in the passage from Romans that states, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (8:28). And yet that passage can seem like cold comfort when life has really dealt us a blow.

The truth is that we can’t always see the good that God has in mind. Look at the account of Joseph in the Old Testament. If all of those “bad” things had not happened to him, he would not have been in a position in Egypt to help save countless lives, including his brother Judah, who was in the ancestral line of the Savior. God’s perspective was so much greater than Joseph’s. Instead, Joseph trusted that God was working for his good, of which we may see only a sliver here on this earth.

God is working for good even if a loved one goes to heaven.

God is working for good even if a loved one goes to heaven. My sister was killed by a drunk driver. I took comfort in Isaiah 57:1,2: “The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.” Perhaps God was sparing my sister from something awful that she would have otherwise experienced. Maybe he was sparing her from something that would have robbed her of faith. If that’s the case, then I will be eternally grateful. I don’t claim to be able to know all the ways God used her death for good, but I do know this: Her death drew me closer to my Savior. Good. Her death gave our family a chance to live our faith. Who knows how many lives were impacted? Good. I was able to witness true forgiveness at the sentencing when my dad read a letter, and instead of tearing the guilty man down, he did what most would imagine unthinkable: My dad forgave the drunk driver and pointed him to Jesus’ cross for forgiveness. That man might never have heard that before. Good. I know my sister died in the faith and I will see her again in heaven. Good.

Sometimes Jesus sits us down and says through circumstances, “Can you do this for me? I can’t tell you why. Only trust me.” And when I see his love for me in his nail-scarred hands, how else can I answer? “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good” (1 Chronicles 16:34).

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Author: David Scharf
Volume 112, Number 11
Issue: November 2025