One family’s story of how a pastor and his wife guide and serve in their congregation and family.

“DAD, YOU SMELL LIKE PEOPLE!”

“Dad, you smell like people.”

This is what I overhear our six-year-old daughter telling my husband after he gets home from a busy Sunday of being pastor to our congregation. My children and I are blessed to have him not only as our family’s spiritual leader but also as our pastor. The happiness on our children’s faces when they see their dad up at the front of church and their excitement to run up alongside other children for the children’s message bring joy to my heart as a mom.

As my husband lives out his calling as husband, father, and pastor, he literally smells like his people. His people are his own wife and children and also every person he interacts with every Sunday from start to finish. It’s almost impossible for anyone to slip into church without a sincere greeting and hug, handshake, or fist bump from this man who is genuinely so excited and humbled to be the shepherd of this flock. He smells like the member who has been coming for decades and sits in the same spot. He smells like the energetic three-year-old who is so excited to be in church that she runs up to give her pastor a hug every single Sunday no matter when she and her family arrive for the service. He smells like the brand-new sheep who is still wondering just how to fit into this fold. He smells like his own family for whom he strives to love like Jesus.

As wonderful of a blessing as he is to my family and to so many others, my husband knows that it is not about him. He has a verse displayed next to his Bible in front of church that reads, “We would like to see Jesus” (John 12:21). He smells like his people, but his desire is not for them to think about this shepherd who smells like them but to think about Jesus the Shepherd who smells like us. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us” (John 1:14).

The Lord came to earth and smelled like people by interacting with them. His love was seen by the time he spent with the outcasts, the touch he gave to the diseased, the embrace he gave to the hurting, the attention he gave to the toddlers. He showed us the extent of his love when he gave us himself. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:27-29).

We thank Jesus for the shepherds he gives us to point us to our Shepherd, who always loves to smell like his sheep.

Abbie Lehmann

“MAMA, WE KNOW THIS ONE!”

“Mama, we know this one!” our girls exclaim as they happily sing a song in church that they know by heart. Very few sights bring me more joy than looking out into the congregation and seeing my daughters singing joyfully to Jesus and their baby brother bouncing to the beat. It’s the melody of the gospel floating in the air, ringing in church and at home.

Music has quite a role in our family. Often our breakfast soundtrack consists of the music of the Gettys, Ellie Holcomb, or City Alight as we get ready for the day, followed in the evening by the quiet tones of bedtime prayers and the silent whispers as our kids fall asleep. The ordinary sounds and rhythms of life are far more than commonplace, and one person in our family hears every song, is there for every note, and interjects gospel tones through it all.

Spoiler alert: It isn’t me.

Every pastor’s wife has a unique song to sing. My wife sings gospel songs to me that most never hear, but they bring so much grace that words can hardly compose. Her song of praise to Jesus, emanating throughout all she does, is one I know by God’s grace all too well. As a pastor’s kid and now a pastor myself, I feel qualified to say that the role of a pastor’s wife is so underappreciated because few truly know the gospel songs that such women sing. It’s a tone that is unmistakable.

My wife sings the song of stability in our home for the moments I’m sitting in the living room of a prospect or standing at the bedside of a member in the intensive care unit. She exists within a symphony of activity as she handles the home schedule, keeps things on track, and willingly takes in my venting. She joyfully sings even as she singlehandedly corrals our kids for church. She prays for me, our family, and our church family with compassion I can’t put into words. Without her and the gospel song being heard through her, I couldn’t serve as I do or be the Christ-like husband and father I strive to be.

It’s her song that I am so excited to hear when I come home each day. Yet, it can be hard to hear if I don’t intentionally listen for it. You may be wondering why. Simple: Ministry gets noisy. The noises of recapping the latest outreach event or my last sermon or the current Bible class series or church drama can cause me to miss out on hearing the voice of my bride. My bride whom I get to sit with each morning at 5:30 A.M. with coffee, poring over the words of Jesus. My bride who joins me in praying for our children and playing our assigned parts in their imaginative play. My bride who gives me a glimpse into the love the church has for her Shepherd. I simply cannot imagine being the spiritual shepherd of both our family and our church without her at my side.

Even in the craziness that can be ministry life, she joins in Miriam’s song: “Sing to the LORD, for he is highly exalted” (Exodus 15:21). And through her, I get a sneak peek of what it will be like to hear the Lord sing songs of joy over his people in heaven (Zephaniah 3:17).

There’s nothing like the gospel song of God’s people, and that’s true of the many pastors’ wives whose voices continue to echo his grace in all they do.

Jonathan Lehmann

Author: Multiple authors
Volume 111, Number 10
Issue: October 2024