“I can’t imagine how anyone could face this without God.” How many times have you said that? How many times have you heard that? It doesn’t matter what this is. God’s people grieve. You grieve the loss of a loved one, the ruin of a marriage, the separation of family, a devastating diagnosis, and a job you were counting on but didn’t get.

“I can’t imagine how anyone could face this without God.” How true. But what makes it true? What comfort does God, in his Word, give grieving Christians?

God hears you

“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles” (Psalm 34:17).

Tragedy produces powerful emotions. Feelings of grief can be overwhelming. What do you do with these feelings? You might be tempted to suppress that anger. Push down those feelings of depression or worry. Some people suppress them because they think God wants them to. Not so. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

If you want to suppress or ignore your feelings, peruse the book of Psalms. Dig into the book of Job. God’s people did not suppress their grief; they expressed their grief. They cried out to God in their anguish and sorrow. He wouldn’t want it any other way. “Call on me in the day of trouble,” God invites (Psalm 50:15). What makes him say that? Love for you. Compassion for you. In the waters of Baptism, he made you his own. His ear is attentive to your cries.

God is with you

“Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

I don’t have statistics to back this up, but I believe this is God’s go-to promise. You will see it all over his Word if you look for it. To comfort his people in their grief. To strengthen his people to serve him (think of Moses being called to lead the Israelites out of Egypt or the apostles watching Jesus ascend into heaven). His promise? “I will be with you.”

Satan will use your occasions for grief to isolate and attack you. To steal and destroy your faith in Jesus Christ. You can expect discouraging deceptions like these: No one cares about you. No one has ever suffered like you. You will have to bear this burden and suffer this pain on your own.

In your grief, ask for God’s wisdom to reject Satan’s lies! Open God’s Word so the Spirit can remind you that God has promised to be with you. As a child of God, you will never be alone. Ever. God is with you on earth. He will be with you in paradise. He is with you in the valley of the shadow of death. He is with you in the hospital bed. He is with you as you wonder what good can come from this. He understands. Jesus grieved at the grave of his friend Lazarus. In his grief, he comforted Mary and Martha in their distress. Jesus understands you. He knows the number of hairs on your head because you are that precious to him. You are not alone because he is with you to the end of your life.

God forgives you

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:12-14).

If the devil can’t discourage you with his vile deceptions, he will discourage you with guilt. “I have tried to be strong, but in my weakness, I have told God how he has let me down. I have accused him. I have demanded an answer from him. I feel such terrible guilt.” God knows you are “dust.” God’s people are saints whose strong feelings sometimes burst out in sinful ways. God sent his Son Jesus to take away the guilt of our sins.

Jesus grieved without sin. He offered his life on the cross. Because of Jesus, God has washed you clean of sin in the water and words of Baptism. He has clothed you with the perfect life Jesus lived for you. He feeds you with Jesus’ body and blood in his Holy Supper. Speaking in Jesus’ place, the pastor tells you, “Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven.” This means you can grieve in peace. You can rely on God’s unconditional love for you. Jesus paid for your sinful weaknesses on the cross. His resurrection proves it. He holds nothing against you. No stray thought. No angry word you wish to have back. You are forgiven.

God uses your grief for good

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

This grief will not last forever. Express it. Release it. You can remember those you miss with love and appreciation because Jesus tells you where they are. “My Father’s house has many rooms. . . . I am going there to prepare a place for you. . . . I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:2,3).

You can desperately miss loved ones, while at the same time being at peace knowing they are in heaven. God’s Word does that. God fills that void in your heart with Christ and with caring Christians who remember your loss. Your feelings of grief will subside.

But how can God use your grief for good? “Now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6,7).

A widower once told me, “Somehow, God has refined my faith. I understand, more than ever, that God is all I need. There was nothing unhealthy about my love for my spouse, but once I lost her, I learned that God’s love for me is greater, stronger, and more important. I wish I didn’t have to lose my spouse to see that.”

Open God’s Word so the Spirit can remind you that God has promised to be with you. As a child of God, you will never be alone.

God uses what you learn for the benefit of others. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3,4).

Another friend struggling with grief confided, “I now have the compassion to share God’s Word with family and friends who are grieving. Instead of pious platitudes, I point them to Christ, his cross, and his empty tomb. Jesus’ compassion for the hurting fills me.”

“I can’t imagine how anyone could face this without God.” Thankfully, dear Christian, you will never have to face your grief without God. And someday, your grief will be gone forever. “The Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’ ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes’ ” (Revelation 7:17).

Author: John Boeder
Volume 111, Number 11
Issue: November 2024