In our fast-paced world, it’s pretty easy to get distracted. Our time with our children can become a blur of after-school activities, rushed meals, and hectic bedtimes. That’s why stopping to read this article from Stephen Kuehl is so important. It can help us press the “reset” button and remember what our job as parents truly is.

Nicole Balza

Most people would undoubtedly agree that the birth of a child is on the shortlist of life’s most joyful events. Few events bring as much joy to families, relatives, and whole communities than the arrival of a newborn “bundle of joy.” As the child grows up and celebrates a yearly birthday, it’s not uncommon for parents to reminisce joyfully about the stories surrounding that child’s birth.

Besides bringing joy, in most cases becoming a parent also awakens a depth of love within parents that was largely dormant beforehand. When a child is born, we parents naturally begin to love our newborn with a zeal and a tenderness that is unique to the parent-child relationship. This love grows out of the deep and visceral bond between parents and children. We can’t help but love them deeply because, well, they literally came from us!

This strong bond between parents and their children is further strengthened by the fact that we choose our children’s first names . . . and middle names . . . and bestow on them our last name (or names). On top of that, we do the hard and seemingly never-ending work of providing for them and taking care of them. For all these reasons we naturally and understandably think of our children as “ours,” and the people around us strongly reinforce that idea by speaking of them in a similar manner.

Parenting God’s children is nothing more and nothing less than an undeserved blessing and privilege.

While our children certainly are “ours,” we must always keep in mind that they belong first and foremost to the heavenly Father. Though they came from us, ultimately, they came from him: “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3). While we had a role to play in bringing them forth into the world, the Lord had a bigger role. David writes in Psalm 139, “For you [LORD] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (vv. 13,14).

This understanding that our children are first and foremost God’s is critical in our daily task of parenting because it reminds us that we parents are called to raise our children not according to our standards but according to the heavenly Father’s standards. All parents are essentially foster parents (or guardians) who have the high and holy calling of parenting the heavenly Father’s children on his behalf and raising them to know him and his ways most of all.

This calling begins with bringing our children to the font for Holy Baptism soon after they are born, for it is through Holy Baptism that God washes away their sins and adopts them into his family. Our calling then shifts to nurturing the faith that God gave through Baptism by “bring[ing] them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

We are called to teach them right from wrong—according to God’s standards, not the world’s standards—and not just in our words but through our actions and example too.

We are called to discipline them in line with God’s Word and to point them continually to our Savior Jesus Christ, whose death atones for all of our wrongs.

We are called to be examples of faith for our children to emulate, even though our example will be marked with imperfection. We get to be God’s “boots on the ground” for helping our children see that their central identity is this: children of God. We can even tell them that we as their parents view them first and foremost as God’s children instead of our children.

This understanding that our children are first and foremost God’s is also critical in the event that one of our children is called out of this life unexpectedly early in life. In such situations, it is not uncommon for there to be anger and rage against God for allowing such a thing to happen. Speaking as one who has endured the death of a five-year-old daughter, I am familiar with the grief and pain of losing a child. The pain is sharp, and the grief is weighty. Emotionally, it feels as though a part of you has died—and in a sense that is exactly what has happened, for our children are flesh of our flesh. It is not wrong to grieve, for enduring the death of a child is not something God ever had in mind for us when he created us; it is rather the result of living in a sinful world.

We get to be God’s “boots on the ground” for helping our children see that their central identity is this: children of God.

Where we must be careful, though, is when Satan seeks to sow seeds of anger, resentment, and bitterness toward God for calling a child of ours out of this life and allowing such a hardship into our lives. Unfortunately, Satan finds fertile ground in our sinful nature for these seeds to take root and grow up into weeds in our soul. The “weed killer” for these weeds in our soul is the biblical perspective that though our children are ours, they belong first and foremost to the heavenly Father. Our privilege is to parent them on his behalf for as many days as he has ordained for them in this life—whether that is a long time or a short time from our perspective.

If the heavenly Father has in mind to call one of his children out of this life to her true home in heaven, he is not doing anything wrong. In fact, he is granting her a monumental blessing—even though it involves a monumental hardship for us. With humble and faith-filled hearts, we say, “Thy will be done,” in this circumstance too.

Parenting God’s children is nothing more and nothing less than an undeserved blessing and privilege. So as Christian parents, let’s be grateful for every day we are given. Let’s also trust that God will weave our humble efforts of parenting his children into his eternal plan for them, us, and others.

Read more from Kuehl. 

Author: Stephen Kuehl
Volume 112, Number 11
Issue: November 2025