I have two pieces of advice.
First, I encourage young parents to cultivate a spirit of empathy and service in their children.
Start early by finding a cause that your family is passionate about and volunteer for that cause regularly. Help kids to understand the motivation behind serving others (1 John 4:19) and the joy it brings to all involved. Send a clear message that serving others doesn’t need to come with compensation or reward—we do it out of love for those around us and for the God who created us. In serving, we also come to appreciate all the blessings that God has showered upon us!
Then, I encourage parents to teach children the value of work and how to work, starting at a very young age.
As soon as they are able, give children age-appropriate chores, then add responsibility as they get older. Teach them that all members of a family need to contribute to keep a household running smoothly. Once they are old enough, encourage them to secure a job outside the home to help them learn the value of work and responsibility with finances. After all, one of our main jobs as parents is to raise our children to be productive members of society!
Ann Jahns and her husband, Thad, have three 20-something sons.
My favorite advice: “Say yes first.”
My toddler wants ice cream right before dinner? “Yes! That sounds yummy. Let’s eat supper as fast as we can so we can have ice cream!”
My over-stretched middle schooler wants to take on a paper route? “Yes! That sounds great. What are some factors to think through before you sign on? Can you foresee anything you wouldn’t like about it? And you do know I won’t be getting up to help you, right?”
My high schooler is thinking about studying art or music at a pricey college? “Yes! How could we make it work? And what will you do with your art or music degree?”
When we say yes first to our kids, we’re shifting the responsibility to them.
They have to weigh the ramifications. And if they choose unwisely, they have to live with the consequences. That’s what growing up is all about.
And the best benefit? Saying yes means they’ll keep coming to us with all their schemes and dreams. They know we’re not the dream crusher. We’re the cheerleader! We’re excited to watch them decide how they’re going to take a big bite out of life and make a mark on the world.
Laurie Gauger-Hested and her husband, Michael, have a blended family that includes her adult daughter and son and his teenage son.