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Ella Goede

"I was hurting"

Ella Goede shares her mental health struggles and how God gave her the strength to endure.


Going into high school I knew to expect the unexpected, however, nothing could have prepared me for the four years to come.

I discovered that I struggle with change, so being in this completely new environment—unsure of who my friends were and unsure of who I was—led me to develop anxiety early freshman year. I had no idea how to handle it, but thankfully some of my friends pushed me to get the help I needed. Through joining various activities and meeting the right people, I managed my anxiety and was eager for the rest of high school.

But come sophomore year, I fell into a deep depression. Those same activities and friends were still bringing me joy, but I was hurting when not with them. I had no motivation for school, so my grades were awful. My relationship with my parents was struggling as a result, and I felt lost. I had no hope that things would get better.

One day in the midst of an anxiety attack, I almost ended my life.

Review the Apostles' Creed

Go back to the basics and review the teachings of Luther’s Small Catechism with this new online series from Forward in Christ. First up: The Apostles' Creed.

Explore these articles from the July issue:

No fear of bad news

woman on couch stressed and worried with computer on lap
You can’t escape it. Bad news is everywhere. Open the newspaper or turn on the TV, and the bad news will come at you with full force—about the economy; a mass shooting; or another hurricane, devastating flood, or tornado. Bad news can be personal. I . . .

Please explain: What can I do when my relationship with Jesus causes family problems?

two women talking on couch over coffee
I had just finished a brief devotion and prayer at my uncle and aunt’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration. The gist of both was that Jesus blesses marriages in this life, and only through faith in Jesus can anyone look forward to the wedding celebration of . . .

Rest on the Rock

bird sitting on rock
There once was a lumberjack who went out to cut down some trees in the forest. As he was about to chop down his first tree, he noticed a bird making a nest at the top of the tree. Since he was a compassionate man, before he cut down the tree, he hit it with the back of his . . .

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