God’s timing is always perfect. I received an e-mail asking to write about jealousy among siblings right after I received the call from the director of the upcoming young actors’ production. The news came in; Micah didn’t receive a part and his brother Silas did. Micah is the one who has been in a number of productions where he has been in the ensemble as well as main characters. Silas has only auditioned once before. This was setting up to be the perfect scenario for a great article on jealousy. All I had to do was watch and see what happens.
The first day of rehearsal came. Silas got ready to go. Micah got up from his video game, walked him out and said, “Have fun, Silas. You will have a blast.” Wait, what? Where was the drama? Where was the anger? And most importantly, where was the jealousy?
When I had a chance to talk to Micah one-on-one I asked him, “How are you doing it?”
“Every day you are watching Silas do something that you love. And you are being so gracious and encouraging. How are you doing it?”
He replied, “I don’t know, I guess I just focus on him more than myself.”
Our conversation led to the old Cherokee legend that talks about the battle going on inside each one of us. In the legend there is the battle between a good wolf and an evil wolf. The battle is won by the wolf that we feed.
As Christians we know this battle. It is the battle between our flesh and the Spirit. One is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride, superiority, and ego. The other is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Which one wins? The one that we feed.
Micah knows who he is in Christ. He gets what it means to love others. He gets what it means to put others before himself. The fruit of this child shows his relationship with his Heavenly Father is living and active. Ah, if only I could “get it” like my 12-year-old son.
This doesn’t mean that tears have not been shed. It doesn’t mean that Micah doesn’t struggle when he thinks about seeing his brother on stage while he will be in the audience. What it does mean is that in these struggles, he knows he has a choice; a choice to walk in the flesh or to walk in the Spirit. Our most important job as parents is to cultivate our children’s relationship with their Savior. The more they know who our God is, the more they know his voice, the more they walk with him.