Rev. James Aderman

Name: Pastor James Aderman

Home congregation: Fairview, Milwaukee, Wis. (although I recently retired, so Sharon and I are church-shopping in the area because it would not be healthy for Fairview to have their former pastor hanging around)

Family details: Married since 1972 to Sharon; three daughters and ten grandchildren

What are your parenting philosophies?

  • Love your children because Jesus loves you; not because they deserve your love.
  • Love unconditionally. Forgive completely. Trust repeatedly.
  • Love for spouse trumps love for children.
  • Trust your children; don’t make any more rules than the breach of that trust requires.
  • Keep learning about parenting. Never believe you know everything there is to know.

What portion of Scripture do you refer to most often as a parent? 2 Corinthians 5:17: “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” We are new people in Jesus—forgiven, heaven-bound, adopted by God, and full inheritors. We are empowered to live up to our high standing, even though we do not always choose to live that way.

What’s the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever received? Children spell love “TIME.”

Other thoughts: One of the things I appreciate about parents today is they tend to put a higher priority on family than my generation. Baby Boomer culture, my generation, tended to value career over family. I say hurray for today’s parents who give family a higher priority.

An article I recently read advised parents “to breathe: to be aware, to be present, to be kind, to be with our kids as they are, not as we imagined they would be.” If I had a parenting do-over with my daughters, I’d want to “breathe” more.  

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